I’m always delighted to get letters from our readers, both good and bad, because it’s exciting that someone has taken the time to read the magazine and give me their opinion about it. I recently received a letter that I thought deserved some special attention:

As I read your May and June editorials about Mother’s and Father’s Days, I kept hoping for a mention of those of us for whom one or both days are not days of celebration but yearly days of pain to survive. I was deeply disappointed when you did not mention us.

Being a wife and mother was always my dream. I am now in my 40’s and neither has happened. My best friend, my precious mother, Jeannette Cook, went to heaven on February 18, 2022. Both of my grandmothers, Grandmas Swesey and Cook, whom I loved dearly, passed away 27 and 25 years ago.

For my younger brother, his dream was to become a dad. A rare medical condition and the difficulty of fostering and adopting have meant that his dream has not come true. My older brother is also childless. “Grandpa” is not a word my brothers and I could say to the real person. Our father, Lee, whom we are blessed to still have with us, buried his father on his 30th birthday and became a dad two months later with the birth of my older brother. Our other grandpa died three months before my birth. Each day I have with Dad is a treasure.

I have been blessed to have good relationships with both my parents. Still, I know that others are not so fortunate and that for them, Mother’s and Father’s Days are also sources of hurt, in addition to those of us who are involuntarily childless or have lost parents we had great relationships with.

As I figure out how to live without the family I dreamed of, I am incredibly blessed to be related to and know many people who never had children but still blessed others and lived meaningful lives.

— Katia Cook, Heartland REMC member

Katia was right to call out that I didn’t acknowledge that these holidays can be challenging for people who haven’t been as lucky as me. I’m sure she’s not our only reader who feels this way. I appreciate her sharing her story and allowing me to share it here.

Britt Davis, Editor
bdavis@indianaec.org